One morning, in the autumn of 2006 (i think), i was waiting at the bus stop, when i got a call from an unknown number. It was a detective from Hampshire Constabulary. He asked me to confirm if i was a member of a church choir between 1988 and 1990. I did. He went on to ask if i could remember noticing anything i would describe as inappropriate behaviour by the choir master. It was fairly obvious what he was trying to find out. Had i been privy to the choir master sexual abusing any members of the choir or even myself?

In that moment i could not recall if i had seen anything, whilst being pretty sure i hadn't been touched. However, in hindsight, you start to think. What, when you were between 7 and 9 years old, would you consider inappropriate? Would any of these incidents been in my view? The detective asked me to confirm whether we had visited his house, been on trips with him to the swimming pool etc and we had, but nothing obvious came to mind. I could describe it as shock. You don't expect to be called at 8am and asked if you thought a man you used to trust was paedophile.

He was though. Convicted for sexual abuse of at least 3 choir boys during my time there. i wasn't one of them.

My point isn't about paedophiles, however, it is about the church. The church in question, knew about these abuses, and only saw fit to remove him from his position and requested he did not become a choirmaster again. Of course he very rapidly became a choir master and may or may not have indulged his perverted fantasies again.
When the case was brought to court, the rector of the church was interviewed by the South East and London Tonight news programmes. He wasn't the rector at the time, but found fit to defend the churches policy and treatment of the issue, which no doubt came from the head of the diocese of Guildford, by stating that things were different back then.
Different how? I appreciate we are talking about the last millenium but not five hundred years ago but, at the time, about 18 to 16 years past.
You start to wonder that this may have been, or still is, common practice in the Church of England, as much as rumours and fact are that it is rife within the Catholic church. I could start throwing accusations and slander at the church, but that would be cutting off my nose to spite my face. These are facts.

This has all come back to me after a colleague at work was handed a leaflet and small cartoon booklet from a member of a church in Farnham. The cartoon begins with two teenagers swearing and blaspheming. Someone nearby hears this and starts lecturing them about taking the lords name in vain, and begins to tell the story about Jesus. Apart from the fact that any normal teenager would have told him to F off as soon as he started berating them, this is clearly aimed at adolescents in an attempt to "turn them to Jesus". It will also turn them into homophobic bigots. Their interpretation of the bible, fiction or non-fiction, leaves a little to be desired. I quote from the cartoon speech bubbles "Jesus saw many of them become perverts, he created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" "Hey are you putting down the gay lifestyle" "God puts them down, big time". What on earth are they trying to teach children? Tolerance, love thy neighbour. Or hate and prejudice. They finish their little anti-gay rant with "So then being gay is a no-no?" " Absolutely, stay away from it. It smells of devils and death - God hates it"

If it wasn't so unbelievable, then you would find it funny, how incredibly out of touch the church is with the youth of today. Not that I'm claiming to be by any stretch. How is this filth allowed to be peddled by so called "Good, Godly people"? Are they so blinded by their faith that they can't see this is morally repugnant? I believe in free speech, but when anti-Semitic, fascist, racist literature is banned, how, just as it is "In the name of the Lord" is this acceptable for publication. Are there not laws to prevent this?

I will tell you who this is from. They describe themselves as "Every Home for Christ", which i assume is some sort of church. The publishers are Chick Publications, California. I think we are all aware of the fundamentalist right wing Christian churches in the states, that protest at funerals for dead soldiers, vandalise abortion clinics, and generally dislike any different colour and creed than themselves, but i thought maybe in quiet, peaceful Surrey towns and villages that this might be a bit much for your Sunday morning church goer. I was wrong. This was handed to my colleague by an old lady, a regular customer, even.

Combine these two incidents and you may come to the conclusion I'm not a Christian. Well you'd be right. I was once. It is acceptance of paedophilia and homophobia and the overwhelming desire to save face rather than protect people and go to the police, that have made me an agnostic. I will go as far to say i will never set foot into the church i once proudly sang in, despite the person i was christened alongside getting married there next month.

I suppose, living in a country that allows protests against our brave soldiers who have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to go un-condemned, i shouldn't expect anything less.